How to bend the world to fit you

This week there is just one quote I can’t get out of my head. ‘Bend the world to fit you, don’t bend to fit the world‘. These are the words of; Mr. Ben Brown; YouTuber/ creative content creator/ photographer/ film maker/ traveller/ absolute legend. This past year, after almost burning out, I’m trying to figure out how to make drastic changes in my life that benefit me and my mental health and how to be more in control without losing myself in the process. And I can tell you so far; it’s a bloody mess.

Changing your old and rusty habits does not go overnight. Obviously. It takes time. It’s all about learning how to know what your boundaries are and learning what is good for you, without turning into a narcissist. I’ve always knew very well what I wanted and what not, but I’m also a pleaser. Very contradicting parts of my personality and not a very good combination because it can drain you completely. Always busy making other people happy but in the meantime I keep on forgetting myself and the needs I have. As always, I had to learn the hard way: ‘You have to take care of you, because no one else will do it for you.’
As we speak, I am fully in the process of changing things around, basically by taking better care of myself and making choices that benefit me and my personal growth.

As a kid, I never took the safe and short route. I’ve always had a free spirit, was a massive dreamer and never choose to do things the easy way. When my mother said; ‘go left’, I went right. When my teachers said to sit straight, I did the opposite. Not to be obnoxious, but just because people basically did not give me a good enough reason why. I’ve always had a passionate curiosity for extraordinary things and people who where different. I dreamt of places far far away, wanting to travel the world, learn about different cultures and experience life to the fullest.

And so I did. I studied at the University of Bangkok, travelled quite a lot, lived in Singapore for two years, came home, travelled again. Long story short; I’ve learned how to broaden my horizon and how to be open to adventure and opportunities. I’m not here to brag about my (travel) accomplishments and how amazing my life is though. On the contrary. I find life quite complex. We live in a crazy corrupt and ego centric world where religion and different beliefs still cause war. Where most people have way too much ego and just don’t give a shit about each other and their environment. Where there is way too much pressure on mother nature because we are absolutely exhausting the planet and slaughter animals, burn down forests, polluting oceans for our ridiculous ignorant beliefs and benefits. We live in an world where a ME, ME, ME instead of a WE and US culture is still growing and where the shallowness of social media, FOMO (fear of missing out) anxiety, peer pressure and depression basically go hand in hand. I find that seriously hard to grasp.

It’s so easy to drown in daily life though and all the things that come with it. Now being 40 years old, I feel it is time to shift and change my mantra’s I’ve gotten so used to around. I find it a lot harder then I used to though. When you are in your twenties you still have a sense of innocent enthusiasm to jump into new things and not think about it. In my perception, being 40, comes with a certain responsibility and maybe even social pressure that around this age I should have my shit together. The house, the car, the white picket fence, the dog and the happy family. I have neither. Probably partially by choice and I guess I just wasn’t ready for it yet because I had to learn a few extra life lessons. Happy Birthday me.

I still have so many doubts and insecurities to overcome… Even writing this article took me about forever and I’m scared shitless to share my deepest thoughts with the rest of the world, let alone my close friends and acquaintances, just because of what they will think. I know though that this is something I have to do for me. Because it helps me grow, develop my skills and best of all; myself as a person, which could open new doors.

So by keeping that in mind, how can I bend the world to fit me without losing my compassion nor becoming a self centred bitch? I guess by following my intuition more than ever. Trusting that whatever my gut feeling is telling me is truth (which is not easy as I’ve ignored that inner voice more than once). Whatever feels good and makes me happy, is the right path to take. Easier said then done, but I’m going for it. Bending the world to fit me is about knowing what my boundaries are and telling others (and myself) what I need and don’t need. What’s good for my mental health and what drains my energy. Taking (baby) steps to get me closer to my goals. Stop conforming to what other people want without keeping me and my needs in mind. And choose. Choose happiness, choose kindness, choose progress, choose change, choose growth and take the risk of falling flat on my face. Bending the world to fit me is putting my dreams and desires into action and trying to live fearless. It’s about trusting the universe that you will be served with the things you need to move forward and grow. Tag along and follow my journey. <3